belonging to ourselves
Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong? Like you’re a pink chicken in a field of graceful giraffes, or that perhaps you came to the wrong planet? Certainly many people seem to feel this way, either about their families, or their community, their sexuality and culture. We yearn to belong, to fit in, to have a tribe and yet this most basic and profound desire is so often thwarted.
We yearn to belong, to be part of and to fit in. It’s wired into our primal nature and is key to our survival. We need connection. I wonder how much however, we belong to ourselves instead of looking externally for that connection we crave.
The only true belonging is the courage to stand alone and belong to ourselves.
Peculiarly enough our need to belong is also tied in with our need to be different and unique. Our sense of community clashes with our fear of difference. We want to belong to our tribe or our family and to feel loved and cherished. Our desire for connection and love runs deep, so much so that we may compromise who we are, in order to belong.
In reality, the only true belonging that exists, and the connection that underscores everything else and all other relationships in life, is that powerful sense of belonging to ourselves. We are so often trying to belong elsewhere that we turn our backs on this most important and key aspect of belonging anywhere and everywhere in life. If we do not accept and love ourselves; if we don’t belong to ourselves, how can we truly belong anywhere else?
Brené Brown describes this deep belonging to ourselves as akin to being in the wilderness, the place that we have the courage to experience and ultimately become our true selves.
Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness–an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand. – Brené Brown
Be authentic - True belonging is not being afraid to stand out in the crowd.
Be Who You Are
Life can feel like a wild jungle of emotions, people, challenges, and intense craziness. I know for myself sometimes I feel deeply connected and part of something–a community, a movement, a family–and then in the next moment I feel alone and different, apart from everyone. Belonging I think remains a paradox until we find that infinite and eternal place of belonging deeply to ourselves.